Squished Penises – “Not My President”
Squished Penises originally formed in London in 1976. They played all the gritty local punk clubs and thrived as the self proclaimed “Worst Band Ever”. On August 12, 1979 their lead singer Willie Todger was abducted by an unknown alien species and the band subsequently went on hiatus. On July 12th, 1990 Willie when was found wandering in his skivvies near Groom Lake, just outside of Edwards Air Force Base in Nevada. After escaping government quarantine, he hung out in southern California before making his way to New York, where he was tracked down by and cryogenically frozen for the next 14 years. In August of 2015 a group of old fans put in a freedom of information act request regarding his confinement. This exposed his incarceration without due process, and he was freed in early 2016. Due to the death of all of the original members except for Mr. Todger, a new lineup was assembled and the band began performing again.
On August 12, 1979 Willie disappeared and the band subsequently went on hiatus. Willie was missing until July 12th, 1990 when he was found wandering in his skivvies near Groom Lake, Nevada, just outside of Edwards Air Force Base. He swore that he had been abducted by beings that were not of this planet. When the MPs who found him eventually identified who he was, we was shocked to hear that he had been missing for nearly eleven years. His perception of the time he was gone was that only a few months had passed.